11 Things to Never Say at a Fancy Event
Attending a fancy event—whether it’s a black-tie gala, a luxury wedding, or an upscale networking dinner—means stepping into a world of etiquette, poise, and social grace. What you wear is important, but what you say? Even more so. A single awkward comment can leave a lasting impression (and not the good kind).
To help you shine in even the most highbrow crowd, here are 11 things you should absolutely never say at a fancy event—and what to say instead.
1. “How much did this cost?”
Talking about money is a major faux pas in upscale settings. While you may be genuinely curious, asking about the cost of the venue, outfit, or decor can come off as tacky or intrusive.
🡪 Instead, compliment the effort:
“That chandelier is stunning! The entire space is so elegant.”
2. “I’m so drunk right now.”
Even if the champagne has been flowing freely, broadcasting your buzz isn’t classy. Fancy events often come with open bars, but grace and self-awareness are key.
🡪 Instead, excuse yourself for a breath of fresh air or water if you feel tipsy.
3. “Is this real?”
Questioning whether the flowers, jewelry, or even the art is real can sound skeptical or even rude. Upscale events often feature high-end items, and implying disbelief might be insulting.
🡪 Instead, admire without questioning:
“Those orchids are breathtaking.”
4. “I hate dressing up.”
Complaining about the dress code disrespects the host and the event’s tone. It’s fine if black tie isn’t your thing, but a fancy event isn’t the place to vent about it.
🡪 Instead, lean into the moment:
“It’s fun to switch things up and get glamorous once in a while.”
5. “Who do you know here?”
While this might seem like a casual question, it can feel interrogative or exclusive, especially if someone already feels like an outsider.
🡪 Instead, introduce yourself warmly and share how you’re connected to the host.
6. “I don’t eat that.”
Announcing your food preferences or restrictions with a negative tone can seem ungrateful. There’s nothing wrong with dietary needs—just be discreet and polite.
🡪 Instead, quietly pass on a dish or say:
“It looks lovely, but I’ll stick with the salad for now.”
7. “This reminds me of that one disaster of a wedding…”
Avoid turning the conversation toward negative or embarrassing stories, especially ones involving other events. Fancy gatherings are about elegance, not gossip or venting.
🡪 Instead, keep the conversation uplifting and lighthearted.
8. “Can I take one of these home?”
Whether you’re eyeing floral centerpieces or a premium bottle of wine, don’t assume anything is up for grabs unless the host explicitly says so.
🡪 Instead, admire the setup and ask the host directly if they offer souvenirs or keepsakes.
9. “I didn’t think you’d be invited.”
Never comment on someone’s presence in a way that questions their social standing or connection. It’s not only awkward—it’s unkind.
🡪 Instead, say:
“It’s great to see you here! How do you know the host?”
10. “This is boring.”
Publicly criticizing the event—even in jest—can offend the hosts or other guests. Even if the evening is slower than expected, it’s best to keep your thoughts to yourself.
🡪 Instead, engage in conversation or offer to join a group activity or photo moment.
11. “I’ll only stay for a few minutes.”
Announcing that you’re just “making an appearance” makes it seem like the event (or its attendees) isn’t worth your time. If you need to leave early, do so gracefully.
🡪 Instead, arrive with a smile, enjoy what you can, and quietly slip out with a thank-you to the host.
Final Thoughts: Grace Is Always in Style
Upscale events are about more than fine dining and couture gowns—they’re opportunities to express respect, class, and warmth. By avoiding the wrong phrases and focusing on genuine compliments, inclusive conversation, and gracious behavior, you’ll leave the best kind of impression.
Next time you’re heading to a black-tie event, cocktail reception, or any gathering where champagne flows and heels click, keep this list in mind. Elegance isn’t just about what you wear—it’s also about what you say.
